.

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 03:38:17 GMT

so i just would like to say, because i find it hilarious...

that this is the first friday night that i've been home in months. and im sitting in bed in my underwear downing an entire box of captain crunch. this is absolutely pathetic. low point? yeah. you think?

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:56:26 GMT

i'm writing here because.. i actually have no idea why.. probably because i'm pretty sure that nobody has read it in at least 2 years so really- why the fuck not. it might help to clear my mind. i was going to write but i can't find a black pen and i only like writing in black pen if it's gonna be more than a couple sentences. which this is going to be. having said that... i need a fucking break from life. no joke.
so let's go.
first and foremost, eric is a giant tool bag asshole. we're done. never talking to him again. i was a fucking moron for staying with him in the first place given the fact that i had actualy living proof that he was talking to other girls while we were together? like what pathetic asshole stays with a guy who does that... and then he'd fucking talk to me like i was a retarted 5 year old. i sincerely hope he finds something to make him happy, but i don't think he ever will be. he's too far gone and it's absolutely disgusting.
second, my father not only decided not to leave his psycho path jolly green giant fucking wife.. but he's pretty much acting like he never said he was going to. i'm so disgusted. my faith in people is legit barely existant. like you're going to chose her over me? great. that's fucking fine.. but you never should have said you were going to leave if you weren't planning on it. if your wife is a psycho and treats your kid like shit, and you chose her over your daughter.. take a wild fucking guess as to how that's going to make your daughter feel .yeah. you're probably right, now just multiply that by like.. 20. thanks.
um, yeah this isn't helping me feel any better i thought it was going to.
pop has to get surgery bc his heart has a bunch of stuff wrong with it. it freaks me out. i really wanted to move out soon like i know this sounds lame or whatever but i wanted nan+ pop to have at least a year to themselves without me living here and just be together. i know that's really cheesey and i'm probably never going to say it out loud but it's true. they're a pain in my ass but i know they love each other and they're losing it but they bring out what each other used to be before they got old and everything.. so it really makes me sad and i just feel like i need to get out of this house to give them their alone time.

yeah i'm crying. this blows. i'm going to bed. or something.

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 01:56:31 GMT

.. i don't really come here any more to write in here, but whatever.
i heart my job a lot. i cant wait for summer. i washed my makeup brushes tonight and they look lovely.

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:35:06 GMT

once again. i freaking love my new job.

i might give BE the ol' peace out soon. if not soon, def. when it starts getting nicer out. i don't think i need to go into details as to why. if i do... i've got 3 words for you: bergen, county, women.
no. thank. you.

not for $10.35 an hour anyway. maybe if they up that $5-10 bucks we'll be in business.

ummm thatss all folks. not like anyones read this in at least 2 years. but whatever.

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 00:56:44 GMT

so far.. i love my new job.
this is a good thing,

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 21:44:40 GMT

omgggg i start tomorrowwww... i'm so nervous. i went out today and bought myself a nice pair of pants for work...a couple tops... a watch (i hate watches, but i have to cover my tattoo.)...some really cute aviators... and then some tea from teavana that's supposed to give me energy. because i haven't worked a 40+ hour week in a while so my body might hate me.
man i really am nervous.

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 03:32:25 GMT

got the job at the pt office =)!!
so happy, i start wednesday. so i'm gonna try to work at BE on saturdays still, but we'll see. i would like to becase i'm comfortable there and i like doing makeup...but jeez it would be nice to say fuck off to making goals and dealing with cheap assholes.

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 05:35:50 GMT

everything is a problem in my life i feel like lately. i can't find a full time job. i know i'm not the only one, but for god's sake i've been working for how long now? it shouldn't be that hard. i also don't think that dad's leaving clare now. hmm. sounds familiar. and now eric is in a thing because he's not making enough money so he's stressed out but that's just all fucked up. i don't think we're really in the same place right now. like i'm ready to move in together and he's like oh hey i don't know what i want to do. um. sorry kid. but we need to start making progress or we need to take a break. i'm not gonna sit around and wait for things to happen.

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 04:56:19 GMT

i should be sleeping =(.
today i had my interview at the physical therapy office in hackensack.... god i was so nervous. the girl was really nice but i think it was more than i was expecting. like she seemed to like what i was saying in response to her questions, but i guess because my interview at FLPT was pretty much "hey what's your name, you're hired" I wasn't expecting so many questions. and as i'm filling stuff out this tall pretty blond girl walks in to interview right after me. great. it would be so perfect but im kind of not getting my hopes up, at all.

eric and the bunny are wonderful.

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 07:07:03 GMT

i'm not sleeeeeping.

teddy is the cutest rabbit ever, i have to post pictures soon. i love him.

2 interviews this week.. plllleeeassse something... preferably the PT office. i'm gonna have to cover the tattoos up for this one. but that's fine. shit, my neck, i don't really know how i'll do that because my hair's so short now.. shit shit shitttt.. but like i looked up info on this office, the one physical therapist used to be the PT for like... major leage sports teams.. this leads me to believe they pay well. i mean hey, pretty big difference between receptionist+ physical therapist..but still? oh. and insurance. hyello. please please please if there is a god make this shit happen.
oh. and i have an interview soon at another place. a little girls party place in rich bitch world. ugh. well, if nothing else.. we'll see. if they have insurance i can suck it up.

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:07:24 GMT

today wound up being a pretty good day...it was my last day at lush.. which is a shame, i really wanted to love it. in fact i'm sure i would have loved it if it were in any other location... but really macy's, you're going to put us in the freaking old entitled bitch location? ... bad decision dudes. bad decision. i strait up rolled my eyes in a customers face today. whoopsiieeeee. she deserved it.

also i think dad might leave his wife which is fine in my book. the lady is nuts. not even friggin kidding.

taco bell. and they accidently gave me an extra taco...loooveee.

oh i didn't get the job at nordstrom for smashbox. i dk why the fuck not, because my interview was basically "hey, you're qualified for this job so we're not actually going to ask you interview questions. we're just going to sit here and talk"... so yeah.. i'm not sure what the whole not being hired thing was based on, but whatever. if they don't want me then i don't want to work for them. janel upped my hours at BE anyway.

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 07:15:31 GMT

i feel like making a post about my bday week. it was a good one soooo here we go.

we made sushi... like... a lot of effin' sushi.

..umm that's a brain. i was freaking obsessed with this at ripleys.. i've never seen a human brain in person before this was a persons head from century's ago...they wanted to do research on a criminal's brain...i'm obsessed i wanted to take it home.
...oh i killed eric and use his head as a decoration. no biggie.. hahah... ripleys is the coolest place eeeeverrrr...
..helllllloooo i'm a floating head. my nose looks strange.
birthday makeupppppp<3<3<3

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 07:00:33 GMT

im wide awake, what else is new..
my gum is fucked up and i just gargled with baking soda and peroxide like cenia told me to do and it tastes like shit. eric's like oh go to the dentist go to the dentist...cool maybe i will can i borrow 400 friggin dollars? then maybe i'll go to the fucking dentist. great thanks.
i have to work at macys tomorrow fri+ sat... ugh... it's totally not fun there anymore.

i wish i'd hear back from smashbox soon, i was really excited about that. it's a good product and nordstrom is like ...the shit..to work for... lol oh but i'm at macys... god help me.

im planning on watching every single episode of greys. and i just ordered 3 books from amazon.com. 3 books= the cost of a lipgloss. i feel like i just made such a smart decision financially. not like they're educational books or anything..but i mean they're books.

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 04:31:25 GMT

half an hour till my birthdayyyyy =)!!!!!

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:26:24 GMT

things i learned while i was 21:

1. if you really really love someone, and it's meant to be... it'll be... the wait process just sucks giant dick.
2. spur of the moment tattoos are either a really good idea or a really bad idea.
3. chelsea handler is amazing.
4. mice aren't really that scary.
5. tough economic times= finding a job doing makeup is fucking impossible.
6. life without health insurance truly can happen to anyone, and people who don't understand that are fucking morons.
7. myspace really is the new booty call, not to go quote a chick flick or anything. but it is infact true.
8. booty calls are a bad idea.
9. dating and/or making out with random guys to make somebody jealous and/or want you back is effective, however later on you will regret it. especially if you have sex with them.
10. i think like a doctor. i will never in my life have the attention span or motivation to become one... but i truly am capable of thinking like a doctor. this has been proven a TON of times over the past year.
11. don't take really hard classes such as microbiology for fun, and then be pissed off when it's hard to pass them. challenges are cool if you actually intend on putting effort into them.
12. don't take a job where 98% of your coworkers have really annoying accents.
13. don't take a job where your boss has fake tits, fake hair, a fake tan, and a fake nose and expect her to understand your point of view. also- never ever take her advice on "marrying for money, you'll fall in love with him eventually after he buys you things".
14. summer is hands down the best season.
15. kiss your boss' ass if you ever want to move up in a company. even if she sucks.
16. healthy is a word that i will never ever be capable of using to describe myself.
17. i'm a grumpy bitch.

i guess that's it, i wanted 21 but i'm tired. eff it.

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:10:36 GMT

i am grosssss, i need a maid for every single aspect of my life. my room, my car, and my purse. i just took out the bag that contained my delicious taco from taco bell and now my purse smells like a mixture of taco bell and lovely honey i washed the kids soap.
tacos= lovely.
HIWTK=magical.

tacos+ honey= my purse smells like b.o.

i sincerly have absolutely no idea why eric dates me.

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 04:14:28 GMT

i want to be married.
seriously.

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 05:57:34 GMT

lalalala i need a new career choice.

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 00:48:48 GMT

really really really fucking bored.

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 21:59:45 GMT

UGH so i'm a little fucked. i no longer have health insurance. wonderful.

merry god damn christmas everyone, enjoy your gifts that i spent an obscene amout of money on. please. seriously. because frankly- as i've just become aware of 10 minutes ago.. i absolutely did NOT have that money to throw away.

fuckfuckfuck. i don't like this feeling at all.

Sat, 06 Dec 2008 04:52:29 GMT

4 pictures that sum up my fall thus far
(even though i make up my own seasons, and as far as i'm concerned december=winter)

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:56:46 GMT

i have no idea why this is the first place i came to write this down but im really having a shitty night so i'm going to just write it out here.

so i just went to pay my chase payment cause i was going to get part of eric's xmas present and i wanted to make a payment first. so i call and apparently i owed ten times more than i thought... i know 100% for sure i made a payment last month so i call customer service and the guy's like "oh, well you were supposed to pay ___ last month and you payed ___".. i payed what the fucking automated system TOLD me to pay and now this is my fucking fault? So now I had to make a huge as fucking credit card payment, and yeah i have money in my checking account but this is not what iwas planning on spending it on... i'm so fucking pissed i don't have money to just throw away.

everyone in my fucking life pulls some sort of shit where they chose someone over me i'm so fucking sick of it.

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 01:42:41 GMT

....uuugh i hate paying billsss...

that was just $500 that I could have spent on so many other things =(

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 01:34:58 GMT

So I still have no idea what the fuck I'm doing with my life.

I absolutely love doing makeup.. And I'm damn good at it... But I really don't know how much longer I can go dealing with the bullshit.. Our customers sometimes....seriously... I wish I would have just gone and gotten my license instead of wasting my time going to stupid god damn college.

agh, i've really been thinking about it lately...is this really what i want to be doing

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 04:15:28 GMT

holy shit... ten points to me for finally remembering my old password.. i haven't posted here in like, 2 years.